


Right Here

by phantisma



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-18
Updated: 2006-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-13 02:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/498357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantisma/pseuds/phantisma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From Dawn's point of view, snippets of time that offer glimpses into her relationship with Spike.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right Here

It was almost dawn, she could feel it. She hadn’t slept. How could she sleep? It hurt to breathe, sleep wouldn’t help that. Rational thought had left her hours ago. There was only the pain and the way she cradled it to her, finding solace in the empty ache within. She felt so alone, even with other voices in the room.

She had felt grief, it hadn’t been long…but not like this. It befuddled her.

She had pushed away the comforts offered by her friends. Eventually she had withdrawn into this room, away from the others. Days ago she had been a child, a little sister…but it was all different now.

She wanted to cry, but it hurt too much. She didn’t move when he knocked on the door, or look up when he came in. He sat on the bed beside her, smelling of cigarettes and beer. She looked up. He had been crying. His face still held the marks of the beating he’d taken to defend her, his hands shook a little as they touched her hand.

“Just so as you know, I’m here, Pet,” he said. His sincerity found its way inside of her. He doted on her, had since the moment they’d met. She’d always been amused by it, trusted it. She leaned her head onto his shoulder, imagining for a moment that all was good and right.

But it wasn’t good and right. Buffy was gone. His arm settled around her shoulders as if he could sense her thoughts. “I’m right here, not going anywhere.”

The tears came then, and she lost herself in them and the strong arms that held her, clinging to him until the tears were gone and she dozed lightly in his arms.

*****

 

She was furious. He had no right. He had no business. Buffy couldn’t love him, wouldn’t love him. Yet there he was, all making with the puppy dog eyes and following her around. It was sickening.

She wanted to yell, wanted to hate him. She hated the way Buffy treated her like she was still a child, the little girl she had been when she had died and left her alone…and always it was him Buffy sent to watch her.

Well, not this time. There was work to do, and she could have her share of it. The others would just have to learn to live with it. She was a part of this. Or, she would be if she could make them listen. She opted instead for a side trip, not necessarily wise this late at night.

The graveyard was quiet. She stopped by the marker, reverently reaching out to touch it. So much had changed. Noises nearby distracted her and she pulled a weapon from her pocket, whirling. “Right here, Pet,” he said, appearing behind her. She growled and threw the wooden instrument at him, stalking away before she could even see the others that attacked him.

 

*****

 

The gnawing was worse this time. She wasn’t alone, but he was gone. She hadn’t told him everything, hadn’t even tried. Their goodbye was short, half-hearted. They had known some of them wouldn’t be coming out the other end. She had never dreamed he’d be one of them.

Buffy’s hug helped, even as they watched everything fall apart. How could she be so young and have already known so much about death? Buffy said he’d died a hero. She hoped that would be enough for him. Maybe he could get a little bit of what Buffy had before they’d brought her back. “Is it over?” she asked.

Buffy’s smile was sad. “I don’t know. But, we’re still here.”

“Right here,” she murmured.

 

*****

 

The reflection in her mirror no longer resembled that little girl she had been all those years ago. The baby face had given way to a beautiful woman’s face that she sometimes didn’t recognize. Sometimes she felt no different, sometimes that aching, numbing grief washed over her for no real reason.

Today was one of those days. The others were spread out around the world. She was in London, surrounded by people and totally alone. She turned her back on the overcast world outside her window and closed the heavy drapes. She should be out in the field, but she was still recovering from an injury suffered while training some of the newer girls.

She limped toward the bed, but saw movement out of the corner of her eye. He stepped out of the shadows near the door. “Hey Pet.”

She swallowed a hundred replies. She had known he was alive, had heard it from Buffy…but somehow seeing him was different. “Is it you?”

He smiled that obnoxious smile of his. “In the flesh, so to speak.”

She met him half way across the room and fell into his embrace. Everything seemed to move in place around her. She smiled into his chest as he held her. “I’ve missed you.” She held to him, pressing her body closer into his, her hands racing over his back, his arms, trying to touch every inch of him. “You’re really here.”

He kissed her forehead, then her nose and finally her lips in a gesture he had started when she was still that little girl…though he lingered longer on her lips than necessary. She kissed him back then, following his lips as they pulled away. Her tongue slipped out to caress his lips, teasing his out to play before her mouth closed over his again. “Right here, Pet,” he whispered when their lips finally parted.


End file.
